


First Love

by brbchasingdreams



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cora's an idiot, Crossdressing, Descriptions of war, Effects of War, Enchanted Forest AU, F/F, FTL AU, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Build Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan, Slow Burn, Swan Queen - Freeform, Woman predending to be a man, how do you do tags?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-30 00:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brbchasingdreams/pseuds/brbchasingdreams
Summary: Being a princess is not at all as exciting as it appears in storybooks. Living a lonely and secluded life of her mother's design, Emma discovered this early on. But with an unexpected turn in the war between the two neighboring kingdoms, things start to change. The soldiers streaming into the White kingdom to seek refuge immediately piques her curiosity, bringing with them a glimpse of the outside world.And who is the beautiful soldier with the deepest, dark eyes who immediately captures Emma's attention and refuses to let it go? There's something different about him, so unique, is he really who he claims to be?Or: Princess Emma meets the wounded soldier Reginald *hint hint*. This might just be the start of the greatest adventure or the greatest tragedy of her life.Enchanted Forest AU





	First Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is loosely based on a swedish short story called, which my class analyzed in swedish class last week. While reading it, I couldn’t stop seeing the main characters as Emma and Regina in my head, so I decided to borrow parts of it and idk how but this happened.
> 
> Have fun reading, I hope you enjoy it! :D
> 
>  
> 
> Things that may confuse you right now but might be good to know to easier understand the story:  
> • Set in the enchanted forest.  
> • In this story, Prince Henry (Cora’s husband) was the first in line for the throne (instead of  
> the fifth, as said on the show), hence enabling him and Cora being King and Queen now.  
> • Snow and David rule the White Kingdom and are around the same age as Cora and  
> Henry (who in turn are the age they appear in “The Stable Boy” (flashback to Regina’s  
> childhood)).  
> • The White kingdom, King Midas kingdom and King Henry’s kingdom are all bordering each  
> other sort of like a triangle if that makes sense? (I have no clue about, and am therefore  
> completely ignoring the canon FTL’s geography).  
> • Imagine this being set in medieval Europe (if that means anything for you); anyhow, it is forbidden for women to go to war :/

Queen Snow and King David were widely known for their benevolence and the love their people had for them. Their kingdom was a peaceful one, as it had been through their entire reign. Perhaps this wasn’t very surprising, given that the rulers were one of extremely few royal couples throughout history who had true love between them. They had lived in blissful happiness the past decade and a half, the love in their marriage extending to their subjects and, of course, their daughter. Their daughter whom Queen Snow was determined to see grow into a kind and gracious woman that would one day rule the kingdom as fairly as her parents had.

 

For the sake of this goal Snow had, ever since she turned ten, held a strict discipline for her daughter. She was to excel in grace, knowledge, music, dancing and everything that would make her the Princess their kingdom deserved, and day after day passed without the slightest change in the established routine.

 

When the sun rose, the princess was woken by her handmaid who helped her dress and braided her hair in a manner appropriate for a royal child, She was then led to breakfast with her parents, where she got just enough to eat to sustain her through the day, it wasn’t fitting for a lady to eat too much after all. As much of a woman’s worth lay in her appearance, a pleasing figure had to be cultivated already from a young age. By the end the meal messengers came in to inform the King and Queen of the happenings around the kingdom and occasionally news from neighboring lands. If the princess was quiet enough during this vital process, unnoticable enough for her parents to forget she was in the room, she could pick up fractions of what was being said. Often this was the highlight of her day. Not a day went by that she didn’t yearn for a hint from the life on the outside. She fantasized about it sometimes, the world out there, the great wide unknown, and envisioned getting to see it one day, finally getting a taste of freedom.

 

The rest of the day was spent in lessons, only pausing for a midday meal, where she spent hours reading about the life of others but never experiencing anything for herself.

 

During summer, if the weather was pleasant enough, she’d get some time alone to walk through the castle grounds. Occasionally this enabled horse-riding and helping the gardener tend to the multitude of plants. Sometimes she managed to peek in at the guards daily practice. From her hiding place, always a safe distance away, she tried to mimic their every movement.

 

Her day was concluded in dinner with her parents, after which she had spend an hour or two going over everything she had learned during the day, because her tutors would question her on it the next day. As the sun set, she would gratefully sink into bed, hoping the next day would bring more excitement than the previous one.

 

What the Queen failed to see was that the life she’d constructed for her daughter simply wasn’t fit for _her_. The princess was a brave, vivacious and strong-willed child, with an endless curiosity about the world around her and an insatiable thirst for adventure. Keeping her isolated inside the castle around constant order and monotony, was equivalent to slowly breaking her daughter apart piece by piece, molding her for a life of servitude and self sacrifice.

 

\------

 

But today nothing was in order at the castle. Not only at the castle, but in the all the surrounding villages as well. In every street and square, in taverns, in shops, in almost every family there was a mounting anxiety. A disarray of curious people were running around the marketplaces, exchanging everything in between news and terrifying stories that could chill you to the bone, and in every mind resided a fearful anticipation.

 

War between King Midas and King Henry had gone on for years. Thousands of lives had been lost and even more were wounded. This year, winter had been unexpectedly harsh, bringing an unexpected twist to the war. The narrow Mountain pass between the two kingdoms had after weeks of unending snowfall become impassable. Thus effectively trapping Midas already battered soldiers on King Henry’s grounds, food supplies and reinforcements were prevented from reaching them.

 

Luckily King Henry was not one to massacre an army which had no chance of victory. He believed war was already unfair enough, therefore some ethical rules had to be followed. People, enemies or not, were not going to be slaughtered on his grounds, and going against his wife’s wishes, a temporary ceasefire had been proclaimed, but no further aid was given. The mountain pass back to Midas’s Kingdom being blocked, his army had been trapped on foreign grounds and tormented by unforgiving blizzards for days. After a week, winter was finally starting to relinquish its hold on the land. The nearest path out of King Henry’s lands were through the White kingdom, where the surviving soldiers, tormented by hunger and cold, were now streaming in to seek kindness from its inhabitants.

 

The rumors of these events, having already spread like wildfire and caused commotion throughout the tranquil kingdom where nothing worth notice ever happened, were confirmed at the castle earlier today by two couriers, bearing news of the troops drawing near. Unsettling stories about everything the poor soldiers, broken by hardship and King Henry’s superior warfare, must have suffered when they marched, in temperatures of minus ten degrees, through the snowy passage into the White kingdom, circulated through the land, wandering from mouth to mouth with a bloodier and nastier depiction for each time told and evoking sympathy for King Midas unfortunate army.

 

Snow, never one to pass up the opportunity to prove her kindness, had arranged shelter for more soldiers than Emma envisioned they had room for at the castle. But Snow insisted the palace was huge, with more than enough halls ‘ _we never use them anyway_ ’ to spare. Consequently the castle’s multiple ballrooms, the cellars, the more hospitable dungeons along with some of the larger hallways had been designated to house the soldiers during their stay. Some of the staff’s living quarters had also been claimed for this purpose. But even the castle didn’t have enough room for all who came seeking refuge, and so Snow had requested that any family with means available should provide shelter for any soldiers they had room for, promising economic compensation for their trouble.

 

The whole day was dedicated to prepare for their arrival; in almost every house people crowded together to make room for at least one soldier. Every stove was occupied to prepare warm food for the frozen and hungry. If one could do nothing else, they prepared fresh linens for the wounded.

 

Even Emma’s small study at the top of a castle tower, where she spent endless uneventful hours being tutored every day, had been arranged to accommodate one soldier. Currently situated in the very same room, stuck in morning lessons with her nose reluctantly buried in old books and parchment scrolls, Emma couldn’t be happier about this decision. It would postpone any future lessons until the room was vacated again and enough wounded had healed to have her tutors released from soldier-watch duty.

 

Simultaneously excited and filled with anxiety, her small head swarmed and circulated with thoughts of courageous warriors, snowy mountains, dark, bloody battlefields, severed limbs and pale, worn faces. Her tutor occasionally tried and failed to redirect her focus back on today’s subject; the dangers of magic and why it shouldn’t be trusted. Arguments were backed up with examples of how their kingdom in the past had fallen victim to, oddly one-dimensional and completely evil, wizards and witches with no historical background whatsoever. Emma distantly thought the text seemed somewhat angled; _all_ magicians couldn’t possibly be bad, there must be _some_ good side to magic, right? This subject usually interested her, but today nothing could distract her from what was to come, bringing with it a glimpse of the outside world. Every now and then she jumped at the sound of racket from outside and rushed to the window gasping “The soldiers!”. Though she would usually be afraid to escape her seat during a lesson, knowing how heavy her mother’s disappointment would be when she heard of it, she figured that today, her small act of insubordination would go unnoticed. The girl wondered boundlessly who would be coming to the castle, and what the one occupying her study would be like.

 

\------

 

By early afternoon the troops entered the White kingdom. It was a sad sight. Most of the soldiers were sick from lack of food; exhausted and haggard, they staggered through the streets. Troop after troop wandered in and almost every building along the way to the castle opened for them; homes, shops, taverns, inns, everything.

 

Several hours later the soldiers that hadn’t yet gotten a place during the way reached the palace. Stumbling through the castle gates, many were too exhausted to take another step and sank down to the snowcovered ground, the stairs, the fountain edge, anything within their reach. Down on the courtyard, soldiers dropped into the snow, one by one, like dead flies.

 

Emma, having watched through the tower window in her study as the first troop became visible in the distance, ignored her tutors protests that afternoon lesson wasn’t finished yet as she ran out the door and bounced down the stairs. After a couple of almost-incidents when she nearly crashed into servants bustling through the corridor, she arrived at her chambers, where she stopped briefly to grab a thick white cloak -it was _cold_ outside- before resuming her sprint down stairs, through hallways and hidden shortcuts, that no one except a small princess prone to defiance who, while shirking her duties, had explored every nook and cranny of the massive castle, knew about.

 

Running past the kitchen, Emma saw Ruby peeking her head out, wondering at the commotion. Skidding to a halt, Emma backtracked a few steps, grabbed Ruby’s arm and dragged her with her towards the courtyard. Not a chance that she was spying on the soldiers without her best friend. Growing up confined in a castle, Emma hadn't had many friends until Ruby, equally lost and lonely as Emma, having just lost her parents, came along. The staff employed all had families living outside the castle grounds, which meant a substantial lack of children at the palace. Most of Emma’s social interaction was limited to people at least a decade older than herself, none of which Emma could really identify with. Any interaction with children her age happened at balls and similar festivities when royalty from neighboring kingdoms came to visit. Emma, graceless and awkward as she was; stumbling through dances and stepping on people’s toes, her mother’s repeated words ‘ _you’re a princess sweetie, you need to learn to act like one_ ’ running through her head, always felt inferior to them.

 

Since Ruby, allowed to stay due to her grandmother -the newly hired cook- being her only living relative, neither of them were quite as lonely anymore. Ruby had adapted to life at the castle immediately. Being tall for her age, slim with a captivatingly stunning face, eyes that sparkled like fireworks and a dazzling smile that could light up stars, she was adored instantly. Her grandmother, Eugenia “Granny” Lucas, often told her how little worth lay in beauty, that it isn’t the beautiful, but the well-behaved and kind girls who are loved. Ruby doubted this though, and didn’t put much faith in it as she had seen the opposite so many times. Being the only child at the castle besides the princess, everyone doted on her, complimented her on her looks and gave her treats for being such an adorable little girl.

 

Emma wasn’t as beautiful as her best friend, she had a sharper face and was drawn inwards in all the ways her friend was outgoing; not the kind of person to attract affection. And being the princess, everyone kept at a certain distance from her, their treatment of respect and kindness required of them, as Emma was going to be Queen one day. Everyone except for Ruby that was, and Emma was eternally grateful for her best friend.

 

“Wha- Emma?!” Ruby yelped in surprise. “Where are we going?”

 

“To the courtyard! The soldiers have arrived!” Emma squealed with excitement.

 

In a castle where nothing eventful ever happened, the troops’ arrival was the only thing the two girls had talked about for days. Ruby had snapped up every last detail of gossip spread through the castle, and then fed the news to Emma who had soaked it up like a sponge. Emma’s parents had overheard them talking about it one evening and explicitly forbidden them both from interacting with or even going anywhere near the soldiers -they were sick and wounded and the effects of war was not something children should see.  But with the peak of excitement at the castle being the mischief Emma and Ruby occasionally got up to, the happenings right outside was monumental for them both, they weren’t going to miss it for the world. Both being fourteen, Emma almost fifteen, the girls considered themselves more than mature enough. They had no qualms about slipping outside, going unnoticed in the crowd of people, tiptoeing along the left castle wall until they reached the neatly trimmed row of rose bushes which framed the gravel path from the palace gates to the door.

 

They crept to the middle of the row of roses, crouching down by the perfect spot affording them a magnificent view of the gates, the castle doors and everything in between. Only the tips of their heads were visible over the top of the bushes, as they regarded the spectacle happening in front of them. They whispered to each other in hushed tones about everything they saw.

 

Being best friends and too young to have learned distrust, Ruby and Emma usually told each other everything. Recently they both had started to find the unfamiliar and mysterious idea of love interesting, and they had promised that as soon as one of them developed a crush, they would immediately tell the other. This oh-so-fascinating attraction had not yet occured for either of them and Emma held little belief that someone would ever love her. She was too complicated, too guarded, too awkward, and according to her mother, far from how a princess should be. But she’d have to marry someday, for the good of the kingdom. While knowing that, she was under no delusion that she’d get to marry for love. However, the presence of so many foreign people that had seen so much more, knew so much more than she did, brought notions of _something new_ into her mind. The idea of what the soldiers had experienced captivated her, sparked her imagination; life, the unendingly strange life on the outside, they knew it _,_ they had _lived_ it. Endlessly curious Emma longed, _ached_ after knowing as well _._ Her little body shaked with nervousness and she couldn’t contain her eagerness as her eyes darted back and forth, taking in every detail before her.

 

The castle grounds were busier than ever, all these figures moving around each other, pushing, shoving, some getting up and some sinking down in the snow. The soldiers well enough to walk helped each other into the castle. The entire staff worked together with the rest, rushing out and returning inside supporting soldiers not able to walk on their own, or carrying the few unconscious ones into the warmth.

 

Evening approached as the amount of people outside decreased. The sky got darker and stars appeared while the temperature dropped even further. Ruby and Emma huddled closer together to ward off the cold. The light from the lanterns glowed with a tint of reddish orange, giving the falling snow an almost magical hue.

 

Suddenly a soldier attempting to drag himself up from the ground caught her attention. Once standing, he took a few staggering steps forward, his chest heaving with exertion.

 

Emma observed him. He was smaller than most in stature and had a captivating gentleness to his face that she had never noticed on any other male before. In spite of the paleness and hollowness to his cheeks, he really was beautiful.

 

“Ruby, can you see that?” Emma whispered after a moment of stunned silence.

 

“See what?” Ruby asked.

 

“That soldier.” Emma pointed. Ruby turned her head in the general direction of Emma’s finger. “No, not that one… look at where I’m pointing… more to the left.” Ruby looked slightly to the left and caught which one she meant. “Yes, him,” Emma confirmed, ”do you see how _beautiful_ he is?”

 

Emma noticed how his staggering steps got even slower, he looked like he was about to collapse. “The poor thing, he can barely walk… why is no one helping him?” It hurt to watch him struggle. Tears in her eyes, Emma started to stand up, on her way to catch him before her mind caught up with what she was doing. But Ruby’s hand on her shoulder prevented her from rising. “Emma, stop, you know what happens if we’re found out,” she whispered. Emma knew. Last time she’d disobeyed her parents she had been banned from seeing Ruby for a week, and had to sit through hours of lecturing on how a princess should behave. Emma shuddered at the thought of them finding out, not wanting to deal with the Queen’s disappointed gaze on her any more than she already had to.

 

But the soldier didn’t collapse. He battled on, placing one foot in front of the other. As he got closer Emma got a better look at his face. He was a very young man, more like a boy. His big, dark eyes were hooded, almost closed, occasionally he lifted them slowly and glanced around with a dull, empty look in them. His cheeks and chin were bare, completely beardless. On one side of his upper lip one could see a faint line of dried blood. He was bent forward as he walked, not as tiny as Emma had first believed, but his limbs were soft and delicate as on a woman.

 

When she laid eyes on him, she was immediately swept up by the atmosphere one would feel at a royal ball or other kind of festivity. She could easily imagine him at a dance; perfumed, charming in a form-fitting black suit, white gloves on his aristocratic hands, bent over an armchair and smiling a mysterious little smile towards a beautiful female face.

 

Then she saw a mother, a sister, a lover, who cried at the painful farewell. And then the horrifying battlefield; the darkness, the cold, the sorrow, the gaping wounds and wailing screams, whimpering on the bloodstained snow. It wasn’t a warrior she saw when she looked at him, it was a child, a martyr, a vain sacrifice, crushed in the name of the greater good, and who should instead have been at home, happy with his family, each day smiling light-hearted, carefree smiles.

 

Emma’s heart trembled with interest. The pretty head with the dark curly hair had sunk down to his chest, his clothes hanging in bloody rags around him. He could barely pull himself forward. As he walked past not far from their hiding place, she unconsciously reached out her arms towards him.

 

Unfortunately, Emma’s movement drew attention to their hiding place and Mulan, a healer at the palace who was just walking down the outer castle stairs, turned her head toward them and looked directly at Emma. Mulan’s eyes flashed with recognition and annoyance. Emma froze.

 

“Princess, what are you doing outside?” she asked, a hard note in her normally kind voice as she got closer to them. “And Ruby, you too. You both know you’re not allowed here.”

 

“Erhm..,” Ruby began, standing up and looking down at her feet, shifting her weight guiltily from foot to foot. Meanwhile Emma tried to stealthily peer around Mulan at the soldier who had so completely and utterly caught the princess’s attention, pulling at it even now.

 

Mulan, always observant, caught this movement as well and followed her gaze. The medic gasped in alarm, the young man’s miserable state drawing her attention away from the two girls, their disobedience temporarily forgotten as she was beside him in a matter of seconds. Mulan draped his arm over her shoulder and supported most of his weight as she started to walk him toward the giant castle doors. Seeming to remember what she was doing earlier, she looked back over her shoulder before she got too far away. “You two, get back inside immediately,” she ordered, “this is no place for children.” Both Emma and Ruby flinched and looked down. “You may want to do as I say if you don’t want your parents to find out about this, princess.” Mulan finished before turning back around.

 

That got both of them moving, dreading the punishment they would undoubtedly be facing if that was to occur. They crouched and followed the row of bushes, sidled along the castle wall, slipped into the crowd of people and managed to slink into the castle unnoticed. Once safe on the second floor they hid behind a pillar and watched the soldiers streaming inside on the floor below. Emma spotted Mulan entering with her object of interest hobbling beside her. She followed the soldier with her gaze until he disappeared in the mass of people. Then she drew a deep sigh and looked at her best friend, confused.

 

“Oh, how beautiful he was,” she sighed. “Did you see his eyes? There was something so familiar about them... it felt like I knew them… Ruby… do you think… could it be…?” Her voice lowered to a mysterious whisper and she regarded Ruby with solemn, questioning eyes. Even Ruby looked thoughtful. She was watching the spot in the crowd where the soldier had just disappeared, and nodded meaningfully.

 

“Yes, there was something so different _,_ almost strange about him,” Ruby answered. ”I can’t understand why, but I suddenly feel… _drawn…_ to him.”

 

Jealousy flared inside her and she wanted to tell Ruby that _‘I’m the one who’s drawn to him, I saw him_ first _!’_ , but she quickly realized how ridiculous she was being.

 

Emma was very quiet after this conversation. She couldn't help feeling dejected, but supposed she shouldn't be surprised at the fact that Ruby was captivated by him too. Ruby, whose beauty was on a level Emma couldn’t even graze, who was so much sweeter than her. Ruby, who people treated like a real person because they didn’t have to be as careful around her like they were around the princess. Emma had no doubt that if the mysterious soldier were to meet her best friend, he would be as charmed by her as the rest of the castle was. Why did Ruby have to be taken with him too?

 

Emma quickly pushed away these thoughts. She couldn’t be jealous of Ruby for things neither of them could control. She had accepted long ago that people would never adore her as easily as they did Ruby, Emma just wasn’t that kind of person. So why did she feel so conflicted now?

 

Later that night Emma lay awake in bed, drawn into a whirlwind of thoughts. Who was this mysterious soldier, and why did he make her feel so strange? Was it possible to find out more about him, to see him again? Her little heart pounded and burned in her chest.

 

In the end, after turning the problem over in her head countless times, she decided that the best thing for everyone would be to just forget about the soldier. She would probably never see him again anyway. And she was the princess. Getting attached to a soldier would undoubtedly lead to nothing good. Yet, when sleep finally claimed her, she dreamt of those big, spellbindingly dark, soulful eyes. Eyes that she would never be able to forget even if she wanted to.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Any questions this chapter might've evoked will be answered in the coming ones, which in turn will be out as soon as they're done. I'm not sure when I'll have time to write (I have a lot of major things coming up soon), so sadly I can't promise consistent updates, but I promise to post it as soon as I can.
> 
> I'm sorry about any spelling mistakes I might've made. English is not my first language, and I am terrible at proofreading things. 
> 
> I also have a couple of original fanfic ideas that I’m really excited about and will start to write when I have time, but as I'm kinda new to writing it seemed less daunting to start with a story based on something already existing than to write something completely on my own. 
> 
> I'm extremely grateful for kudos reviews and anyone who might decide to stick with this story. If you have any thoughts, questions or just feel like screaming for no reason at all, don't hesitate to tell me. Any comment, no matter how small, is appreciated. :D


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